I’m writing this, fully knowing that this is going to cause a bit of discomfort inside of you. I’m doing this because it’s something you need to hear. Please keep reading with an open mind and just consider the possibilities.
First things first. This is a matter of collective finger pointing. People are constantly looking for someone to blame. They point the finger at others just hoping that someone will finally take 100% of the fault.
I’m here to tell you that this will never happen. It is YOU who is to blame. Just as much as it is ME.
If EVERY person that read this was to do these 5 simple things, we would have world peace. If it wasn’t world peace, it would definitely be peace in your own world.
STEP 1: Take 100% responsibility for your environment!
I’m talking to YOU. Emma. Matthew. Diego. Yosef. Mei. Mikhail. Kungawo. Whatever your name is and wherever you are from. When I say “your environment”, I mean your personal space. Not just the physical location you are in but the feelings inside of your body and the thoughts inside of your head.
If you listen and read negativity in the media, turn it off! You have an imagination and can assume there are atrocities going on all around you. You do not need the gory details. Turning the negativity off is not closing your eyes to reality, it’s refusing to focus your life around it. It’s allowing yourself the solitude to just BE without the bombardment. (If you doubt the power of this, try it for one week and see how you feel!)
Realize right now that everything in your existence is the way it is because you gave it permission to be so. The way you feel about yourself, the victim mentality you hold, the internal and external responses you have. Nothing outside of you can disturb anything inside of you, if you do not allow it.
In Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles, he gives a simple equation that everyone can remember. That is:
E + R = O
The event you are experiencing plus your response will equal your outcome. If you can’t control the events introduced into your life, you CAN control your response to it. If you can control the response, you can control the outcome as well.
STEP 2: Raise ’em right!
Teach these steps to your kids. Want to know how to do that? It’s simple. There is ONLY ONE way to do this and that is to live each of these steps yourself. Monkey see, monkey do. Stop blaming the kids for your problems, both internal and external. If you step on Legos, if they fight with each other, if they are noisy as can be, YOU chose how to respond to that. You cannot bring order into your house through the doorway of chaos. Yelling, hitting, and emotionally abusive tactics will only perpetuate the problems. You can respond with love and understanding to EVERY situation. That does not mean you have to be walked on. That just means you take responsibility for YOUR response so they can take responsibility for theirs. They will eventually follow suite. If it is unacceptable in your house, don’t accept it in your own behavior.
Remember, it was not their choice to be born into your world, they were just gifted with that. When they are old enough to take 100% responsibility for their behaviors, allow them to! That means that you need to step out of the way when natural consequences are approaching. Allowing them to struggle with the consequences is MERCIFUL. That is pure love and selfLESSness. People only intervene because they want to control someone else’s outcome. That is selfish.
STEP 3: Pay attention and respond appropriately to your feelings!
We were all born with an internal compass. That compass is our emotions. No matter what emotion you are feeling, it is a part of your personal guidance system.
If whatever you are doing brings feelings of guilt, shame, resentment, anger, hatred, envy, jealousy, or any other negative feeling, you should immediately STOP DOING THAT. That may mean a physical action, it may mean your internal dialog. Force yourself into being your own law enforcer. If you are thinking negative things and that causes emotional pain, force yourself into being positive. Think of the things you are grateful for instead.
If you do something that brings a positive emotion inside of you, not just in the temporary, but in the long term… KEEP DOING THAT. If you feel joy, love, confidence, hopeful, compassionate, challenged, excitement, and peace, that means you are on the right track.
Think of emotions as an electric fence. When you step off the path, you will get shocked.
STEP 4: Get OVER the language barrier!
What you call God, someone else calls Allah. What one calls Allah, someone else calls the universe. If you don’t believe in an infinite intelligence, use your own value system. The word you chose is just a sign post. It points to something that cannot be contained in a simple word.
If you took out the words God, Allah, Buddha, Mohammed, Source, or Universe from your vocabulary, wouldn’t we all agree on the feeling of “it”? This is called “chunking up”.
We will never all speak the same language. So rather than trying to force each other into using the same words, what if we just agree to allow everyone to better themselves in their own way?
If someone is doing something to better themselves, ALLOW THEM TO DO THAT!
It does not matter if it’s through meditation, attending church, or thinking positive in their own head. Quit using WORDS as a reason to persecute and criticize.
STEP 5: Personal development and reflection.
If each of us listened to something uplifting or read something inspiring every day, can you imagine what this world would be like?! While you are getting ready in the morning, state out loud what you are grateful for. If we spend the drive to work listening to inspiring audiobooks, or reciting positive affirmations, we would always arrive at our destination with love and positivity in our hearts. (This would also greatly diminish the occurrences of road rage.)
Saying there is not enough time to listen to things of inspiration is not a valid excuse. If you spent a couple of minutes each day figuring out how to listen to something inspiring, I promise you, you will find the time. It does not require you sit down and physically read a book, just get yourself some audiobooks, do a simple search online for free inspirational books, or stream something on your phone.
Reflect on your internal choices. Commit to improving yourself. You are the only person who can do it. If you aren’t happy with how your life is, YOU can change that. Flooding your mind with inspiration and ideas will get you walking on the path to be the person you KNOW you can be.